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Adult Children Moving Back Home

Question

What would be your set of household rules for 2 adult children living with you (one recently returned home after living 2 years with friends who is currently working part time and finishing school and the other is starting med school next week and has a boyfriend who lives with us)?

Answer

Parenting seems to never end ,does it? When adult children come back home the conventional wisdom of our day says to put down clear expectations of your house rules and make a guideline for getting them out of your house. What John has found in recent years is that this approach rarely works. It eventually takes an emotional toll on your marriage and your relationship with the adult children; not to mention the financial cost. Instead, he recommends that you set them up in a small apartment of their own. The three of them together ought to be able to share the expense of a small apartment. By living at home, you will deprive them of skills that they need to manage life on their own. In the long run, this is a much better investment for all involved. Having to figure things out by themselves is of great benefit to them. They will learn how to live on a budget, plan ahead, delay gratification, set fiscal priorities, and take care of their food and health needs. This is going to cost you initially a bit more than letting them live at home but the emotional savings will offset the initial investment.

Lisa Dorner

Certified parenting coach

lisaedorner@yahoo.com

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