Question
I recently discovered Mr. Rosemond's books. My husband and I are now implementing his ideas with our 7 year old son who gets easily frustrated when he doesn't get his way, ignores our demands, often acts silly or talks constantly to be the center of attention, and often can say unkind or rude things to others. It is hard to write these things because he does have many other redeeming qualities and often behaves well for others. We know realize that we have been tolerant of too many misbehaviors and that this is harmful to him. We know that these behaviors will never end unless we change our ways.
Last week we started using alpha speech,giving him 5 tickets for the day while working on three goals. The three goals are:
1. Being kind and polite
2. Not throwing temper tantrums
3. Listening to us the first time we ask him to do something.
The consequence we set up for loosing all of his tickets for the day have been going to bed an hour early, no friends over the next day, and no TV the next day. He has lost all of his tickets almost every day for the last week.
While I realize that he will not change in such a short period of time, I also want to make sure what we are doing is correct. I also remember reading in Mr. Rosemond's books that is sometimes more beneficial to deal with fewer issues and build success and other issues will dissolve when obedience starts to happen. I guess I am trying to find the right balance.
Are biting off too much at once (or micromanaging) or if we should just stay the course? The next day my son often gets up and argues with us that he doesn't think he lost all of his tickets. We are not engaging in these arguments.
I also have another question about asking a child to apologize if he mistakenly (not intentionally) hurts someone. My son accidently ran into a child the other day and the other child was hurt. He denied it and blamed it on someone else. I demanded that he appoligized and he did but wondering if I should have handled it differently. I listened to Mr. Rosemond's podcasts about sibling fighting and he said the we should not make a child apologize (maybe he meant just for sibling fighting) The thought was that people wouldn't learn anything from forced apologies. I feel as though, if we physically hurt someone, we should always apologize. Intentional or not. How and or should I demand this from my son?
