After reading one of John's books recently, it's been like a light bulb coming on for me. A very bright, harsh light bulb... There are so many ways I have been failing. I've been implementing some new strategies, one that I am working on is consistency - namely, requiring chores to be done before any privileges are given. While it seems simple in theory, I'm having a tough time coming up with appropriate chores - and I may be overthinking it.
My son is 9, but he acts about as capable as a 5 year-old (or worst) sometimes. There are plenty of household chores he should be more than capable of handling at his age, but none of it is up to par for me and ends up making me feel like I just have more work to do. For example, I have given him the task, previously, of cleaning the toilet, sink, and floor of the bathroom (mostly because he still urinates on the toilet seat and I am tired of cleaning it). I have shown him how to clean the toilet multiple times, but he will still do careless things like start on the bottom, underneath the seat, where all the pee is, before moving up to the seat and the handle. Obviously, this is disgusting and just inefficient. Another example: No matter how many times I have had him take his own laundry out to the washing machine in our garage, and explicitly told him not to cram all of it in together (divide the sheets and blankets from the clothes) and use detergent, he almost always does the opposite. It doesn't seem like he is doing it intentionally, but really, how could he possibly just space it out? I don't want to have to check on his work (micromanage) or hover, and I want to be able to trust that he has done his chores thoroughly and sanitary, and I especially do not want to have to go back in there and do the work myself!
Do I focus more on getting him to just complete the chores, and nit-pick later? Or should I expect him to do it over until he does right? Am I being too particular? How do I get him to just do what is expect, the way it is expected?