"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

9 year old boy needs mom to say it one time!

Question

I sure appreciated the response from Katherine Saltzberg (Leadership is Always Plan A) to my question. Can Katherine or someone else please read my initial question and then expand on her comment about my son trying to tell me something (more leadership, less consequences)? I want to get to the bottom of what I am doing wrong.

I have been reading John's books for about 10 years and think of my husband and myself as loving and authoritative parents. We are definitely known as the "old-school/straight-to-the-point" kind of parents amongst our peers. I never crouch down when talking to my children, I walk away after giving instructions, I don't give in, I don't threaten, I don't try to be their buddy, and I don't give second chances. I am very firm (but never harsh) and I am very motherly. I thoroughly enjoy my children and my time with them. I read with them, I teach them to bake bread, I teach them all sorts of practical household skills, I play board games with them, I take them on fun little outings like to the beach and the zoo.

All that being said, I am guilty of being too wordy when giving instructions. That may be too much for my 9-year-old son to process. Sometimes, I have him repeat the instructions back to me to be sure he understands. Additionally, I am guilty of repeating myself when I should only say something once. I realize that changing those two things may make my leadership more effective. Do you have any other suggestions on what I should do?

Even with my expectations of obedience, my children still forget to do their little daily tasks. If there is a consequence, my son feels like he is in a pressure cooker. In our situation, should there be a consequence for minor infractions that happen repeatedly (i.e. forgetting to tidy their bedrooms)?

Thank you again.

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