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12 y/o sensitivities most likely manipulative behavior

Question

My almost 12 year old daughter has been having issues with visual/hearing/touch sensitivities that started when she was 9. These issues have gotten to the point of disrupting not only her life, but the whole family. Her triggers include the sight of her brother and fathers feet (she says she hates the sound they make when they are walking on the hard wood floor), the sound and sometimes sight of other people eating, the sight of her brother wearing shoes that she says make weird noises, the sound of her brother coughing and breathing, and the feel of most clothes and the feel of her hair on her neck when it's pulled back in a ponytail. She tries to control others to wear socks or a particular pair of shoes, refuses to eat with us most meals, refuses to wear all but a few items of clothing and hides in her room to avoid all things that irritate her. If she can't avoid these irritations, she will scream, throw herself on the ground, break things (usually her own things) and sometimes scratches herself until she breaks skin. As you can imagine, this is putting a huge strain on our everyday life. We've tried helping her find coping skills, but she won't use them. How can we find some peace and enjoy family life once again?

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