"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

Implementing the principles of leadership parenting.

Question

We have 2 boys, ages 9 and 11. Our youngest is disrespectful, disobedient, uses unkind words with his older sibling and throws tantrums/damaging things in our home. His disobedience is constant. Either with an outright "no" or a "how about I do it this way?" or just ignores us. He is absolutely running our house hold.
Reading your book, The Well Behaved Child, it seems that the best place to start after practicing and praying about our own attitude/alpha speech is to put a 6 block daily chart in place.
I have 2 questions-
1) In chapter 2 of your book you give examples of problems that parents address by using alpha speech and giving consequences that seem appropriate at that specific moment. Also being flexible in when they give the consequences. If we are doing the chart method, do we only follow the steps in the book for the chart and disregard the examples in ch. 2? Only addressing the 3 target misbehaviors every time we see them while trying to ignore others. Addressing misbehavior each time with the same steps and the same immediate consequences that we have explained to our child and that are on the chart?
2) Our child will only eat what he wants to. Since he only likes about 3 foods, this is a huge problem. Do we handle this just at mealtimes the way you describe on page 122 (food fights)? Offer one bite of everything and let them choose to eat it or not without drama from us. If he chooses not to eat we cover the food and offer it later when he says he is hungry? Or does this behavior need to be handled with a chart? Thank you so much for writing this book. My husband and I are finally feeling hopeful that we may be able to help our son.

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