Question
Our 19 year old college freshman daughter, lives at school, 45 minutes away. We just found out that she has been sexually assaulted on campus. Alcohol was involved. Until this point, she has been lying to us, saying she was not drinking.
Well, the truth is out, with devastating consequences. We are all hurting. She wants to continue at school (finals are only 2 weeks away) We can support that.
But she also wants to continue to live "her lifestyle, her choice," for the next year. Essentially, this means she wants to continue to drink. We think she may be turning to alcohol, even more now, to dull the pain. To make matters worse, alcoholism runs in one side of the family.
Our question: Should we continue to pay for college, knowing that she is going to drink? Pay for tuition only, letting her live at home next semester? Pay only her tuition, but not living expenses, if she chooses off campus housing? Cut her off completely?
If it was just drinking only, we would simply cut financial support, end of story.
The assault complicates matters. We want her to know that we are here to help her, support her, send her to therapy, whatever it takes to help her recover. We do not want her to feel she is being punished for the assault. We want to offer her a loving course correction. We firmly believe that God can redeem, even this painful situation, for her good and His glory. She is questioning her faith now.
She has good grades and has held down the same job for over three years, and is great at managing her money.
Thank you for your help.
