Question
HI there, it's been a month since we have systematically and authoritatively addressed my son's misbehaviours. We decided to address hitting and disobedience. We have him on a 14 day chart for hitting a parent, and 5 daily tickets for not doing what he is told. If he throws a tantrum outside of the home, or if he hits, he is sent to his boring room for the rest of the day with nothing in it except a bed and clothes. We have also kicked him out of the garden and not permitted playground time in the morning with his sister at school and removed all of his toys until he gets 14 stickers in a row.
He does however get to play and run around around the school grounds before and after school whilst mum/dad chats with friends there. He had been under control for about 2-3 weeks..
BUT his grandparents have recently come for a visit and it has been hard to implement being sent to the room, or no toys (there are many toys in their house). My parents had been asking us to go to their house for some of the meals. Sometimes, this is a big family thing with aunts and uncles. Not possible for garden kick in their house but we have no choice? Put it this way, if we do a garden kick in their house (disallow toys etc), the atmosphere will be completely ruined by a screaming tantruming child. Its not considerate too.
Also (coincidentally?) this week, he has also reverted completely to his old terrible ways, intensely interrupting us whilst we are talking to others, whining loudly if we pay no attention to his demands. He whines, pesters, nags, even lifted up my skirt or shirt to get me to do what he wants. He even laid down on the floor to whine loudly and kicked the teacher's piano on monday at my piano lesson. Yesterday he was unruly at the grocery store, he ran away from me at school and then refused to hold my hand, then threw a tantrum when I said we're going home. He disturbed his sister during meals, slithering around on his chair like a snake and playing with his food, not eating. Wouldn't keep still whilst being changed, refused to brush teeth. And this morning, he ramped it up even more, even more intense interruptions and to adult conversations at school, and very, very, very loud screaming (at the top of his lungs) all the way during the 5-minute walk to the car when I told him he'd not be allowed to play this morning. He's been sent to his room for the rest of the day for the massive screaming and shouting in school this morning. In short, he has been acting like a 2 year old hell on wheels. Not like a to-be-4 year old.
It's like wrestling with an octopus this week! Do I continue on our disobedience / not hitting plan, or reevaluate and make a new plan, deal with others too? The whining, interrupting and tantrum issue is the next very very pressing one. It hadn't been too bad during school holidays but now we're back to the daily grind, the interruptions and whining is surfacing much much more. Have you any advice or ideas for when we have to go to my grandparents' house, what to do in terms of discipline? I know you have suggested a parent coach but we cant afford it at this point in time. Any advice and ideas of where to go from here will be welcomed :)
