Out of control 4 yr. old


We have been using the chart system for our 4 year old son for 2 weeks. The 2 target misbehaviors are disobedience and tantrums. However, if he kicks us, hits us, threatens us, calls us names, throws anything at anyone or hits anyone with an object he goes straight to his room and to bed early. All of these things are frequent problems. He is always in his room for the day by mid morning, usually because he threatened us or called us a name, or because he hurt his brother or me (mom) by throwing or hitting us with something. A couple of questions. Are we tackling too much at once? And if so, what of that list do we let slide for now - and how do we respond to the terrible misbehaviors we are ignoring? Also, since we have started this chart system, he seems to be adding new defiant behaviors, such as pointing his finger at us and shooting, telling his little brother to do bad things, taking his car seat belts off so he can reach up and pull my hair or else hurt his brother. The list goes on. Is this normal and how should we respond to this upping the ante? One more thing, what if anything should we do when he misbehaves after being put in his room? For example, when he runs away out the door and down the lane when being let out for a bathroom break. Or some other misbehavior while out for meals or bathroom breaks? Yelling things like "poopy mommy!" and "bad mommy!" while in his room?

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