"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

Craving mom

Question

My almost 3 year old girl has seemed to have anxiety/fear since a very young age and it's building to unhealthy limits. At a young age, I would try to drop her off at church nursery, but she would outlast any worker (I tried almost every week from ago 6 months to 18 month and she'd cry for over 45 mins). Now that she's older, I've been able to see some trigger points (ie large crowds, unknown places), but now she has a hard time with her dad. For instance, If she wakes up scared at night, I have to put her back down or else she'll scream and wake everyone else up. Or another one is if my husband disciplines her, she won't settle down until I hold her. She also will rarely go to her dad if we are out doing something (ranging from hiking to dinner with friends). Most of the time, we make her go in the pack with dad but it can be a fight. I am an at home mom and wIth 2 other children (13 mn and 4.5 yo), I'm nearing my limits with her need for mom. One caveat, when we are having fun, she laughs and plays well with her dad. It's mainly when she is in a new environment, or when she is pushing her boundaries. Are there any tips for my husband to build more of a relationship with her? Is this just her tantrums and we need to override her wants? Or should I take a few day vacation and let my husband be full time with her for a few days?

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