Question
In a recent column Dr. Rosemond mentioned that respect is something which is claimed by parents, rather than something that is earned or entitled. I would like clarification on this point as it pertains to my 16-year-old son who is consistently disrespectful to me. Recently he returned from his father's house, where he lives 50% of the time and instead of getting his chores done, announced he was heading to a friend's house. When I told him he would not be doing that before his chores were completed he told me via text (I was at work) "I don't have time for this" and left anyway. When he returned his stepfather and I had turned off his phone, removed the door from his room and hidden all his other electronics. I told him he could earn them back in 6 months with excellent behavior. He has since gone back to his father's house claiming the punishment was "too harsh" and that he will not return to my home until we "work something out" he's more amenable to. Was my punishment too harsh in your opinion? He's been snide and surly since the divorce 5 years ago and has to constantly be prodded to get his chores done and I'm tired of it. How can I better work towards getting more consistently respectful behavior from him? Thank you for your help.
