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Nighttime Potty Training

Question

My daughter is 4 and a half years old. She still wears a diaper/pull-up at night. Up until now, I've assumed that she sleeps through peeing. Months ago I'd wake up twice in the night to take her to the toilet to pee, both of us in a half sleep, but found that unsustainable because I was exhausted. Now I've told her that if she can wake up dry or go to the bathroom to pee at night for two weeks, she'll get to pick a toy/book/treat.

She lives for half of the time with her dad, from whom I am divorced. He recently told her she will be going to kindergarten next year, and that means a) she'll spend more of the day at school, and b) he won't get to see her as much (he teaches from 3:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. each day). He related to me that she told him that she feels that as long as she keeps her night diaper, she won't have to go to school for longer and see him less. I don't know how much stock to put in that remark.

I suggested we just plan to do more laundry (more of an effort for me since I have to go to the laundromat) and take away the night diaper. Thus she would feel the discomfort of wetting her bed and hopefully go to the potty in the night instead. I mentioned that he'd have to change his sleep a little bit to clean her up if she wets her bed. He balked, saying that he would just let her sleep in his bed if hers is wet, that helping her into dry pajamas would be too comfortable for her. I said she couldn't just stay wet all night...

So my question is, how, with this situation, do we night potty train our daughter? I do know her dad and I need to be on the same page. I do have her pee before going to bed. I do cut off all liquids 45-60 minutes before bed. When I was my daughter's age, my mom told me she was going to send me to kindergarten in diapers if I didn't stop wetting my bed at night. This worked for me, but I don't know if it will have the same effect on my daughter. Thank you.

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