Question
Since joining, I have become a single Grandparent raising a 3.5 year old Grandson. My husband died in August.
I frequently read Johns advice on putting the "marriage" first. However, there is no longer a "marriage" or anyone here but the two of us. I am 55, will not remarry, and it's highly unlikely I will not be parenting this child until he is grown. Neither of his parents are interested despite my best efforts to include them.
Zayn has slept with me since his mother left him when he was about 18 months old. My husband was already ill at that time and was sleeping in a separate bed due to getting up and down all night long. Zayn had never slept in a crib or bed alone. I clearly hear that a child needs to be in his own bed....but his bedroom is upstairs and mine is down stairs. I just don't feel comfortable with us sleeping on two different levels. I have entertained the thought of two beds in my room as a starting point.
I go about my household chores, incorporating him and giving him his own tasks to complete, which he does willingly and well. But I do allow extra time to "play". With him. I incorporate him in cooking, cleaning and yard work.
...but because I do not work a public job....we have a lot of "togetherness".
He will and does play independently and I have his younger cousin over as often as possible to help provide some activities that do not include me. Zayn does not attend daycare since I do not work. I schedule myself dinners with some of my female friends when they are available.
How do I help keep him from becoming too entitled to my time and for lack of a better choice of words......keep him in his place in this complicated relationship since there is no relationship except him and me? My husband and I made all the mistakes with our daughter, too often they came before each other, and I don't want to see that happen again because they became exactly how John describes such kids, entitled brats and I am constantly having to deal with the consequences I created. I don't want history to repeat itself here.
