"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

Putting Marriage First

Question

Dear John,

I am a stay at home mom to 3 homeschooled teens who get good grades. I've been a listener to your podcast for a while and agree. I've read several Q & A's on the website regarding putting the marriage first and husband undermining wife. We are a house divided because I don't have a husband that puts us first. He puts the children first and blames me for any turmoil. He also becomes defensive and angry with me when i try to talk about our teens' (13,15,17) disrespect towards me (he suggested I appease them actually); the two eldest mainly. I'm on an island with my youngest because the other two bully him for respecting me and affection. My daughter has become Veruca Salt. I am bad cop to my husband's good cop. I dole out discipline, he brings home donuts. The two oldest teens also blame me for "everything". My husband is like a fourth teen wanting more to be liked than respected. I can't speak to him about any family issues, especially us, and gets angry with me when I call him out on sarcasm or anything disrespectful towards me. He calls me self-righteous for seeking help. We are basically roommates now! Help! Please!

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