Two home dilemma.

Question

My 14 year old son is having a difficult time with me getting remarried. We have given him space and even dated for 2 years before we married. He is mad and I have mistakenly let him get away with being disrespectful to myself and my family. He goes to his dads where there are no rules or consequences...just fun! About 3 weeks ago he was disrespectful to my husband and I turned his phone off. He was at his dad's house when I did it. I had to go by there that morning to drop off his backpack and when I did my son came out and cursed me out in front of his father....his dad did nothing. I was shocked! I left and went to work and his dad sent me a text saying he was going to let him stay home since my son was "so upset" and "sorry"...I told him no way...get him to school immediately because staying home was a reward!!! Anyway, after all that I told my son that I was finished the way he treated me and I was taking a break from our relationship until he can decide to be respectful. He is grounded from fishing at the farm, my family is backing me and cutting him off as well and I have turned his phone off. I have given it all to my ex-husband. He is failing 2 subjects and I am stepping out. I know we have had a co-dependent relationship...My son has texted me but it wasn't apologizing it was demanding and mean texts...on his ipad! How long do I do this? I know he needs to feel it and I have to have some hard boundaries but what do I do if I run into him at the store? Am I on the right track?

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