Question
My parents live a few doors down from us and they and my kids (2 and 4) are all crazy about each other and love to spend time together. However, my mother has often tried to undermine my authority and seems to try to sway my kids against me, in favor of her. Yesterday she offered my son ice cream right as we were leaving. I told her that he couldn't have it, and we needed to go. Of course, no 4 year old likes to hear that he's missing out on ice cream. My mom's response to him was something to the effect of, "grandma wanted to give you ice cream, but mama said no. There's nothing I can do about it". Leading him to believe that mama is a meanie and evil dictator.
She hasn't said anything like that in a while, but about a year ago it became so frequent that I determined that if she kept undermining my authority and making me look like a bad guy, her time with my children would be greatly limited. Since then she has improved, until recently. I also stopped giving her opportunities to be alone with my kids.
My dad, on the other hand, is an incredible role model and I try to give my kids as much time as possible to learn with him.
I'm torn, trying to shield them from one and give them time with the other, and I don't know how to respond to my mom, especially since these things are always started in front of the children. If I say anything to counter what she's said, she becomes very emotional and wants the little ones to see that mama made grandma cry.
Help!
