5 yo refuses to stay in room


Sort of follow up on last question/sort of a new question - for my almost 5-year old - I have been doing the pass system at night for 3 weeks and it's not going well. He ends up spending several hours in his room the next day to rest to make up for time lost sleeping during the night. He is anxious in his room because of his fears.
A couple days ago, I decided that I am tired of the kids being in charge and I need to work on making some changes in disciplining him and my middle child, who is 3.5 this month. Time out is not cutting it anymore. I read The Well-Behaved Child and I decided to start the ticket system yesterday. They each get 5 tickets, and the one target behavior I decided to start with is listening the first time. Yesterday, they both ended up upstairs after losing all 5 tickets late the in the afternoon and went to bed right after supper. Which then, of course, my oldest, used up all 5 of his nighttime passes before he was even asleep, resulting in what would have been several hours in his room today for a "nap" time. So this morning, they each started with 5 tickets again and told to listen the first time. My oldest lost all of his by about 10:30 am. He stayed in his room (for the most part) until I went to get him at lunch time. After lunch, I took him back upstairs, and he became hysterical and refused to stay in his room. I kept taking him back in, but he would literally not stay in his room. What do I do if he literally won't stay in his room?? Please help - thank you!!


Turn around the handle and lock the door from the outside. If you are opposed to a locked door, you can saw the door in half horozontally making it a barn-style door that locks at the bottom, but not the top. You will need to make the bottom high enough that he cannot climb out and remove items he can use as a stool. Or make him stay in a very boring room for the day, a bathroom or laundry room. However, this requires you to clear the room of all objects that could be used to amuse oneself. It's a lot of work and the room is off limits when he is in it. A lock on the door is a better option.

Trinity Jensen
Certified Parent Coach

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