"A child who has learned to pay attention to parents will go to school prepared to pay attention to teachers. "

5 yo disrespect must be nipped in the bud

Question

My 5 year old son is willfully disobedient, defiant and enters into a rage when disciplined. He will hit, kick and throw things at me and tells me he hates me and threatens to "cut my face off" when he is mad. He refuses to go to his room and threatens me when I try to make him go. Because he tends to go into a rage when he is spanked, I try not to do that but I feel like he is totally out of control and I have nothing to help place the monkey on his back. I know he has no respect for me and I am at my wits end as to what to do. Ironically, he can be the sweetest, most kind little boy and impresses everyone he meets with his good manners and sweet disposition. When he is not mad and not expected to do something he doesn't want to, he loves on me and hugs me and tells me he loves me so much. He does not have troubles in pre-school or in Sunday School (in fact all his teachers say he is great). He also obeys when my husband is at home and will go to his room and sit on the stairs etc. when told to do so. Help! Even being "kicked out of the garden" is not very useful because he is so creative that anything can become a toy to him (or he becomes destructive, trying to destroy something or slamming doors). I've thought of having a police officer come over and explain that the type of behavior he is exhibiting can get him in trouble but I don't know if that will be impact enough to make him want to change in the moment. I've also thought of just sending him to school (like a summer camp) during the week so at least he will behave there and we won't have this power struggle daily (he hates going so that might cause some issues in the future). I have also thought of changing his diet. I am willing to do what I can but feel very powerless. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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