Tug of war with an 11 year old.


My 11 year old daughter's grades have plummeted. She is capable but unmotivated. It started as one late assignment here or there and has now become out of control. She now has F's and a D and has been subsequently kicked out of the garden. We are partly to blame. We were those parents that threatened but didn't follow through. My problem here is actually keeping her in her room. It has turned into an "I'm just...." war. "I'm just getting a drink... I'm just going to the bathroom... I'm just doing my chores..." etc. I have always maintained that when she is grounded she is not excused from her chores but she is using it as an excuse. She is taking twice as long to do them and finding ways to fool around. I've tried setting a time limit but there's no consequence if they are not done other than sending her back to her room. I finally gave up trying to police this and stopped making her do chores. This seems more like a reward for her. Short of locking her in what do I do now?

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