"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

Teen Meltdown

Question

I read on here to take a time out before engaging with a teen and making a decision. Then once giving your decision, being a 'robot' when responding. We have an intelligent, 6ft, almost 15 yr old son who has been diagnosed with ADHD and is currently medicated because he literally cannot function at school without it. I do not want to medicate him and have tried taking him off for over 6mths which nearly resulted in him losing his life after he went into a rage after an argument and kicked a glass door. You would think nearly losing his life would make him realise his arguing and subsequent anger would make him stop but he has in fact gotten worse. He argues about EVERYTHING little thing. Up until now, we have admittedly been too strict so we tried to not be so controlling but everything we ask ends up with him defying and when we try calm robot mode and 'because we said so', he kicks doors and has a meltdown. We have tried stripping his room, his rights above food, clothing etc nothing works and he is disrespectful over the smallest things. Other than this, he does not take drugs, go out, have a girlfriend or do anything 'wrong' as such. He just wants to play playstation, be on his phone and be left alone. We are happy to do that, as long as he is meeting our basic expectations such as being ready on time for school, doing his chores and speaking respectfully. We are caught in a vicious power struggle where we are battling everyday. I am exhausted and my husbands answer is to come down even harder which does not work. He has no 'currency' so to speak and when we take phones etc away, he goes into a rage.

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