6 yo Won't Stay in His Room


We are having problems knowing how to deal with our 6yo foster son (1 of 4 foster children) who has tantrums (yelling, throwing things, kicking, defiant and sometimes laughing as he disobeys, breaking or threatening to break things etc.) at random times (when he doesn't get his way), but mostly at bedtime (when he acts up during story time or prayer being silly and has to go early) or when he's sent to his room on restriction or a time-out. Sometimes he refuses to stay in his room and/or his bed (we are not allowed to lock him in room or outside) . Our schedule is busy (I work and they go to an afterschool program with only an hour at home before bed.) and I don't give sweets, tv or many other treats during the school week. The main thing I have to take away is their 30 minutes of "play time" before school and then their 1hr of "play time" after school and make them go to their room or bed... BUT, it becomes a power struggle to keep them there, which ends up meaning an hour of me either holding the door or holding them down in their bed (which they probably enjoy). I did have success for 7 days in a row by allowing "tablet time" for 30 minutes after school if there were no fits (kicking, screaming, stomping, slamming doors ect.) in morning or bedtime, but that seems to have come to a halt. My goal is to get them in bed by 7pm (asleep by 7:30) and don't let them get up till 7am (he usually wakes between 6 and 6:30am, and is compliant when I tell him to stay in his bed till 7, when I wake him up). I've tried the ticket system with him, but I find keeping him in his room, on his bed or his door closed always invites power struggles. Any suggestions for me, or should I just prepare myself mentally for these struggles? (I have a hard time not getting upset that they are taking over my time and interfering with my time and attention with the other children that are being good.)

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