Question
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. His kids have been really accepting of me but they also have issues with their mother being a "good mother". My son hasn't been so accepting....we have been very sensitive to his reservations. My son also doesn't need a "father figure" he has a relationship with his dad. He will come around but he is the only boy and my boyfriend has 3 girls. My son is also 13 so we are really into "peers" right now. After we were all introduced to one another my ex-husband made fun of my boyfriend and that seemed to allow this wedge to form between my son and my boyfriend. We have every intention of getting married. The two oldest kids...my son and my boyfriend's daughter are the same age- same grade. This has been an ordeal.... his daughter will talk about my son to kids and it gets back to my son....and he isn't nice about it. This has happened on several occasions and we have addressed it. It has happened again lately and my son retaliated on social media ( which he was grounded for). My boyfriend seems to ignore the fact that she started it and he did handle it inappropriately which led to his daughter crying hysterically and calling her dad. The fact that she allegedly started it was never addressed. He got really outraged and called me upset. At this point nothing I could say helped. He said my son was raised as a victim and called him names. Then he also added how upset he is and resentful that my son hasn't "warmed up" to him and his girls. I know these things take years....it isn't for the faint of heart... But do we as adults allow a child to control this. I can't "make" it all work. I can't "make" my child like someone. I do make him act respectful and friendly. I just don't know what to do? He doesn't think it can go forward like it is now. I really don't know what to do or say.....
Thanks
