"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

Parenting adult children.


My son is 19 and a sophomore in college. His school is 45 minutes away from our home and he lives on campus. We pay for his college and housing. When he comes home occasionally on the weekend we allow him to use our car with permission. We found out he smoke cigarettes now and last year we were made aware that he has been drinking alcohol since a senior in HS. He lied to us about the alcohol. Over Thanksgiving he wanted to spend the night at his friends. We know it's because they allow underage drinking. If we don't let him use our car to go to the friends, he will just have his friend pick him up. He also took our car without asking at 1 am to get cigarettes. We found the butts outside and asked him about it. He says he is 19 and can do what he wants. What recourse do we have. We don't trust him. He can do anything at college and we'll never know. We're frustrated because we are supporting him in all ways and he gives no regard to doing things we don't approve of.

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