Breaking Cycle of 6 Year Old Misbehavior Away from Home

Question

My son who is almost 6 is generally a very well behaved boy. He behaves exceptionally at church programs for his teachers, in his homeschool PE class, and everywhere we go in public. I homeschool my children and so they are with me a lot. I have high standards for their behavior at home and my son does pretty well. My husband is gone a lot because he's in the military. We see our extended family which includes grandparents, about a couple of days to a week about every 2-3 months. My husband and I use those opportunities to go on dates at night. We also took a week long vacation alone during the summer and the kids stayed with my parents. My son has recently started throwing major fits and being disrespectful to his grandparents when I'm not there. When I went to a church function recently at night, he acted the same with my husband...tantrum and talking disrespectful saying "I miss my mommy" and being mean to his sister. I don't allow this kind of behavior and he doesn't do it when I'm around but only with others. It's like he's a completely different kid with the others! My husband put a stop to it this last time but his grandparents allow this behavior. He seems to be making a habit of it. If I'm not there and the grandparents won't discipline him, I don't know what I can do to break this cycle. Thank you for your help!

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