7 Year Old Argues, Doesn't Follow Directions

Question

My 7 (almost 8) year old son is a kind boy with a genuinely good heart. With that said, he argues with everything we say, pesters/antagonizes his 3 year old sister incessantly, and can't follow directions no matter how many years we have been consistent in trying to teach him (i.e. stay seated during meal time). I have taken everything out of his room and he had to earn it all back, but he didn't care to and after about 4 months, we ended up gradually putting it all back anyway because we wanted it out of the room we were storing it in. We went to the ticket system and every time he lost his 5 tickets and was sent to bed after dinner, he cried and wailed like it was the end of the world, but 10 minutes later was fine and behavior continued the same the next day. Our attempt at teaching him doesn't seem to stick, even though we have been teaching him the same things since he was old enough to understand (about 3). Please help, we are at a loss. I wish I knew if this is"normal boy behavior" and I really want our family to be a happy one. It sure doesn't feel that way now and it hasn't felt that way for quite some time.

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