"If you think childrearing is difficult, it will be. "

Working on self esteem.

Question

Our five year old daughter seems to have a case of high self-esteem. She constantly does things just to seek our attention (She was the 4 year old in need of potty training. Thank you for your wonderful advice. It worked like a charm.), talks about herself (things she wants, how great she is at various things), and fishes for compliments (do you like my shoes?). I only rarely catch myself micromanaging anymore. I have significantly dialed back the amount of attention I give her. And if she starts following me around the house to talking herself, I send her off to play in a different room. Her self-esteem has seemed to lower a bit due to the changes I’ve made. However, I have a few concerns. My first concern has to do with being out in public. She is the vision of a sweet little girl. She loves wearing pink frilly dresses, bows in her hair, and is petite for her age. As a result, older grandparent-type people flock to her, full of compliments, when we are out and about. This tends to cause a flare up in her self-esteem. My second concern is that I may be taking away too much attention. I find myself holding back when I would typically praise her for something (like drawing a cute picture). I would like to know if I am taking away too much attention. I would also like to know if there is anything more I should do to dial back her self-esteem and how to handle her inflated self-esteem after running into “grandmas” and “grandpas”. Thank you!

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