28 Month Old Toilet Training Troubles


Hi, I started toilet training my 28 month old daughter 3 days ago and we have had zero success. My son was trained at 20 months in 5 days, but she had been sick all through the winter and spring, which is why we delayed potty training until now. Long story short, I'm at a loss because the problem is essentially that she is afraid (or so it seems to me) to go on the potty, to the point where she will hold it in (both pee and poop) until she can't hold it any longer which can be as much as a day. I'll have her sit, albeit very reluctantly, and she'll be holding herself to stop peeing and begin to scream and run away and continue to hold it in. This happened on day 1, on day 2 and 3 she just peed and pooped all over the house. The other thing to mention is that she knows now she isn't supposed to pee in her diaper (at night) and she doesn't, but when we put underwear on her a few times (upon her insistence) she was more likely to relieve herself then, though still knowing she shouldn't and visibly because she just couldn't hold it in anymore. She basically seems anxious about peeing/popping now in general, even though we never punished her or made a big deal out of accident, other than to explain this is not where she needs to go and then proceed to clean it up. We have tried the bell, and she just ignores it, the doctor "threat" she couldn't care less about. We have all shown her how to go on the potty, her older brother shows her everyday, and I know that she knows what she must do, but she just can't get past this fear of release. We would love your take on what the problem might be and how to overcome it. I haven't tried the gate yet in fear that it may not be the right course of action just yet, but I'll defer that to your judgment. Thanks!

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