From Chaos to Calm


We have 4 children: girl age 7, boy almost 5, and boy-girl twins age 3. I feel like I have no control over them. Examples…I have to repeat myself when I tell them to do stuff (pick up your toys, get in the bathtub, etc.), I have to intervene over not sharing toys, or the twins fighting with each other in the back seat of my SUV, screaming at each other in the car, and the 3 y.o. twin boy has a major whining problem. My husband is great with them and they listen to him. We both work, and more often than not, he has to come home and step in and be the disciplinarian. This is causing major issues in our marriage…he feels like he is always the “bad guy” because I am not doing it right (true). I have tried separating them, I take toys away, send them to their room for a while or the rest of the night, and spanking. They don't respect me like they do their father. I want to try the ticket system, but have some questions about it:
1. What if they lose their last ticket right before or close to bedtime? Do I take a privilege away for the next day?
2. Does the child “have to” know the consequence in the beginning when I am first explaining the ticket system? Or can the consequences vary depending on time of day and what plans for that day are?
3. What about when we are on vacation? I want to start ticket system ASAP, but in two weeks we are going to see grandparents in another state.
4. With 4 kids, what if only one or 2 lose all their tickets, but I was planning on doing something fun with all that day? Do I go ahead and do it and make the ones that lost their tickets sit out and not participate for a certain amount of time?
5. What do you do if they are still misbehaving after they have lost all of their tickets (i.e., keep coming out of room, throw a fit, etc.)? Is it appropriate to spank in this scenario?


Become A Member To View The Answer

Please register and purchase a subscription in order to view the answer. Existing members please log in.


View All Questions