23 month-old Not Getting the Potty Thing

Question

For the past week my wife and I have been attempting to toilet train our two toddlers using the N75 method from John's "making the terrible twos terrific" and "toilet training without tantrums" books. Our 36 month old son picked it up right away, owned the process and has had very few accidents since his second day. Our 23 month old daughter is a different story. We initially had problems getting her to sit on the potty at all and she seemed undisturbed when peeing down her own leg and onto the floor. After a day or two we tried the potty bell and gate, which elicited much crying and little to no success. Despite our best attempts to clearly communicate expectations and what seemed like long stretches of unhappy containment, she still didn't seem to get it. E would simply pee on the floor next to her potty in the small hallway bathroom adjacent where we had set up the gate. I will admit that my wife and I both became frustrated and upset with the process much sooner than we probably should have - after reading the book(s) we had prepared for the reverse situation between the two kids! We have since moved away from the gate and moved the potty back into the living room as E seemed to equate the potty with "time out" after accidents. We still use the bell consistently throughout the day but she never pees when actually sitting on the potty. Generally she does it on the floor shortly before the bell goes off or shortly after we have given up trying to keep her seated where she obviously does not care to be. We both are going a bit crazy repeating instructions of where her pee goes and trying to be directive & authoritative, but it now feels like we are even farther from success then we were a week ago. Please Help!

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