Micromanaging Mom, follow up


In response to "Mother Wants to Stop Micromanaging" from 2/23/16. I am still micromanaging everything, getting completely frustrated when kids don't comply, and things are not good around here with my 3 year old girl and two 7 year old boys. I just don't feel like there's much to take away and nothing that they really ask to do. They each have a tablet (given to them by grandparents as Christmas gifts). They use it for maybe an hour total on the weekends. That's it and often, almost always, that doesn't even happen because it's been taken away from them. They NEVER watch tv unless it's a sporting event or movie with the family on the weekend and often that doesn't happen or has been taken away as well. The older boys go to school, go to swim lessons, come home and do homework and any chores, eat dinner, take a shower, do their reading, and go to bed. That's it. We don't have time to take anything away. On the days where we have time, I WANT them to go outside and play so I never think or want to take that away or deny that activity. On the weekends, we do often have some family activities, but that's because I will go nutty if I don't get time to eat out a meal or go watch my niece play softball or nephew play baseball or just get to enjoy time together as a family without 1 or 2 or 3 kids having to be confined to their rooms. So, instead of having a plan for what requests to deny or things to take away, I resort to micromanaging every little thing of every day just to get through. I know this is not working. I know it's not the way for them to learn and it's showing in the fact that they don't listen to or obey authority figures outside the home now either.

One of my 7 year old boys whines in class, will sit at his desk and not do any work, screams at swim lessons, or just stares at an authority figure with no response and doesn't obey. He's on the school card system and brings home a YES or NO each day for following the classroom rules and getting his work done. I'm pretty sure he's just worn out from all the nonsense and I am too!

This is crazy. I expect more, but we are all just defeated. At this point, I think we are all burnt out and I'm wanting to tackle so many things that I can't focus on what step to take first. I know the behavior changes need to be with me, but where do I start?

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