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Spanking

Question

My spouse picks up the kids (ages 6 & 8) from their afterschool program one day a week. This week he confirmed with kids they had their homework, lunch boxes, etc. before leaving. After arriving home they found out the homework was not in the homework folder. This has happened 2-3 other times this school year. It has also happened to me a few times in which case we usually end up going right back to school to find whatever is left behind. When it happens to spouse he tries to call me to pick up whatever is left behind and does not seem to take into account what I could be doing. This phone call usually comes across as a demand not an inquiry. I do not have that opportunity to call him for a few reasons – 1) if he is still at work he should stay focused on what he is doing and not be interrupted and 2) he does not carry a mobile phone as a general rule (he has one but won’t admit to work he has one; will not carry it at work nor running errands, etc. – and if I ask him to be more accessible by carrying it he volunteers to turn it back in; it’s not that important to him). This week I was in the middle of an (hair) appointment – I ignored the 1st two calls and finally answered the 3rd call. He asks/tells me to go back to school at which point I tell him I’m in the middle of appointment. Child told me the next day he was spanked when it was discovered the homework was missing and he was also spanked twice when I didn’t answer my mobile phone. Anytime I tell spouse about things he could have done differently – or even ask him if he would do things differently next time or thought he could have done things differently – he gets defensive and tells me how negative I am towards him and I’m always telling him what he does is wrong. I’m not completely against spanking as a form of discipline but it should not be done in anger (and because someone doesn’t answer a phone?). Not even sure my question . . .What to do to prevent this from happening again? (8 year olds are going to forget stuff.) How to get spouse to not get so angry when there is a bump in the road?

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