"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

Marriage Problems Interfering with Discipline

Question

Hi. I am the mom of two adopted girls. My 8 year old has been with us since birth and has ADHD and my 3 year old is here almost 2 years from Ethiopia. She is addicted to food and will only talk, move, or obey when she feels like it. If we are giving her food, if I'm cooking or LOTS of attention she is happy and will attempt to speak more and move a bit more. But the second you correct her she goes right back to not talking, moving and throws fits. And won't snap out of it until you go back to over the top attention.
That sets the scene for our home. It is stressful most days. My husband and I don't parent the same and he refuses to recognize that this situation is difficult daily for me. Our marriage has never been great and is in serious decline over parenting. He is passive and when I try to suggest he step it up he gets mad. He is an engineer and in most situations won't take advice from anyone. I'm not sure what to do. Our ADHD child tries to divide us and our 3 year old gravitates toward him because he doesn't make her do anything and babies her. So the problem is really a marriage issue. Do I just parent properly alone? I'm angry a lot and I feel like we have an unhappy home. I also feel emotionally exhausted most days because I am the only one parenting. I would appreciate any advice.
Thank you
Lisa

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