4.5 yo Sassing Mom


Hi there,
We have a relatively good 4.5 year old girl on our hands, she is more compliant than most kids her age and usually the best behaved one of the lot / at kinder. However, we still have a bit of a problem with backtalk and rude talk with me (not to the father usually). A few months ago, I made her go 14 days without a single episode of backtalk/rudeness before she got her beloved bear + TV back as it was getting really out of hand. This took her 6 weeks to achieve. It was good for a while but now and then she is still 'mouthy' - and once every few days, a bit disrespectful in her tone and speech but not as bad as before. And I thought she was cured! Perhaps my tolerance for backtalk, rudeness and disrespect is quite low - I'm talking about her using a 'rude tone' when she talks to me. Often, I feel like she's talking to me like she's the mummy telling me off (perhaps trying it out). "WHERE did you put the string that you took from me just now?" (With the hands on her hips and a demanding, bossy tone like what I'd use with a child when I am cross) or when told to put away the toys, I'd be told in a cross and rude tone "I'm Still Busy With It. When I'm Finished, I Will Come!" in a tone that I use with the children when I'm interrupted repeatedly. I must be doing something wrong that my daughter feels free to talk/behave with me like she's the mummy sometimes. I don't want to use tickets for this because I do not really want to give a margin of error for disrespect. I was NEVER allowed to talk in this manner to my own parents and I never dared to, even when I was angry with them. No, I am not a pushover mum and am baffled how she would dare to show me such an attitude if I never allowed it! What should I do? Should I let it go and deal with each occurrence separately? She seems to be getting immune to going to bed early and having no TV/bear given that we did it for a while. At this age, she doesn't have a whole lot of privileges. What should I do?

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