Follow-Up for Trinity
Thank you for your wonderful response! I will definitely start using the Charts system instead.
I do have follow-up questions for you:
1. While doing the Charts method, should I have any discipline system for other misbehaviors (not related to chores) that come up? I’m talking about disrespecting, squabbling, etc…
2. Although we have a very organized, structured home, our exact daily schedule varies from day to day. I homeschool my son part-time and my daughter is in preschool part-time. No two days of the week follow the same schedule. So, some days there wouldn’t even be an opportunity to go on the swing set or play with dolls. I feel like if the kids lost a box on one of those days, it wouldn’t mean anything to them because they wouldn’t have been able to do those things anyway. On especially busy days, they may need to help me with extra chores or run errands or we may not even be home. What should I do if they lose boxes on those days? Can they carryover to the next day? Contrarily, there are days that we have fun things planned that would make an impact on them if they had to miss them.
3. If I don’t let my daughter play with any toys or books in her room, she starts to destroy furniture, climb on shelving, stack small furniture on top of other furniture, etc…. I’ve tried putting her in the bathroom where there isn’t any movable furniture (or much of anything to destroy), but then she plays “dolls” with the shampoo bottles, takes all the toilet paper off the roll, wraps herself up in the shower curtain, and so forth. Basically, she can entertain herself with nothing and potentially cause herself harm. Even after several days of having to be in her room, she didn’t seem bothered by it.
4. You mentioned that if the child doesn’t complete the chore that I should calmly go to the fridge and cross off a box. Then, I should tell them to “go complete the chore”. What if they don’t go and complete the chore in a timely manner? Do they lose another box? Do I complete the chore for them or should they have to do it on another day?
5. Is it OK to set timers for the completion of chores? That often makes it easier because I’m in the middle of my own tasks and don’t have to think about how long it’s been. Additionally, the chores that need to be done before we leave for school (make bed, fold pajamas, clear table) are not done together in one chunk. I feel that I can be more consistent and supervise the chores more if there is an exact time frame in which they need to be done.
6. Also, can the privilege in the boxes 2 and 3 be very generic, such as “playtime”? They play with different things all the time and they only watch 30 minutes of TV per week. There aren’t two activities that they do each day. If I wrote “play Legos” in box 2 or 3, my son may not even care about Legos that day. On the other hand, my concern with putting a generic thing like “playtime” in the box is that losing that box would essentially be the same as losing box 1.
Despite all my writing, I really am trying not to overthink all this too much. However, I’ve found in the past that the clearer my plan is, the more consistent and more effective I can be. Thank you again for your help.