6 yo Garden Kick Taking Too Long


My 6yo has been kicked out of the garden for 2.5 months. She has 5 tickets a day and must not lose all her tickets for 14 days to begin getting her things back. In the first 2 months she lost all her tickets over 40 times. The longest she's gone with keeping tickets is 7 days and that was while we had family visiting so she was constantly entertained and we eased up on chores and rules.

Her target behaviors are: 1) disobedience when we tell her to do something, 2) yelling at parents, 3) calling parents names, such as "stupid" or "bully", 4) making faces at parents (this is right at us, not behind our backs or when she thinks we're not looking, and it's things like glaring or sneering, not eye rolling or looks of exasperation), 5) ignoring parents when we speak to her, 6) disrespectful words or disdainful/mocking tone of voice towards parents. Looking at this list now, it seems like a lot, but it is not a complete list of all her problem behaviors, which include physical aggression toward younger siblings, tantrums, whining, inability to accept NO, threatening parents (mostly mom) and occasionally hitting me.

We also have 3 boys ages 4, 2, and 1, and by their own wishes they all share one bedroom, so we can't strip her room the way it's suggested. Instead she's restricted in the following ways: she is not allowed in the playroom where all the big kid toys are (we have 2 play areas, the playroom and the family room where the toddler toys are). She is not allowed to play with any toys by herself, only when she's playing nicely with her brothers can she have any toys other than her two favorite "loveys" which she can have all the time. She is not allowed to watch movies or use electronics. She is not allowed to have sweets or junk food. We put away all the girl toys - dollhouse, dolls, dress up clothes, tea set. She is not allowed to use coloring or art supplies except for one plain pencil on white paper. When she loses all her tickets she goes to the parents' bedroom for the rest of the day, since the children's bedroom is used for naps and the 3rd bedroom is the playroom.

I'd appreciate any advice or counsel you can provide for our situation. It's getting to be frustrating for all of us. Is a garden kick supposed to take this long? What are we doing wrong? In the last 2 weeks she's been keeping more tickets more often, I can tell she's trying harder to improve herself, and there has been a general improvement in her behavior over the last month. I intend to stick with the plan as long as it takes but if there's anything I can do differently to help her along I would like to know. Thanks.

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