Question
We are the parents of 45yr. married daughter,2 children 10 and 12. Son-in-law highly successful businessman. Travels 3-days a week. Daughter is college graduate, stay at home mom.
Our daughter is not comfortable allowing kids to be very far from home. We live 10 min. away. We assumed she was just a little over protective so have followed her wishes. We have a country cabin 50 mins. away. Kids love great times, sleepovers, etc.
Several yrs. ago, son-in-law confided trouble, seeking advice. Stated sudden outbursts, rages, daughter wants divorce. Incidents would come & go. Each time we were informed he made us swear to never mention as it would cause immediate divorce!! These occurred in front of the grandkids on occassion. Last episode 8 mos. ago. We kept this private. Socially, family gatherings, they display a happy family. Our daughter has never confided or mentioned any problem.
6 weeks ago we purchased tickets to take kids to a play. Our daughter knew our plans. Venue (45min.) from home. All seemed fine, we have taken kids here in past. With no indication of trouble, our daughter made the statement "the kids don't want to go"
Requests to take grandson fishing denied in past, son-in-law states he must be present.. Many many missed opportunities to take kids & be together.
A conversation between daughter & son-in-law took place. When questioned about play son-in-law confessed our daughter felt it too far from home. Our daughter & sil had little to say, did not want conversation. We were told to wait a few days & then we could get together to talk.
3 days later we recvd. this E-MAIL "We will not take any chances with our kids, we have rules, we will not say yes to things just to please you" Stunned, we called, no answer, text, no answer, 12 yr. old has cell but we couldn't leave a text...
Our son called & spoke w/daughter. She repeated her e-mail but added she had a problem with Mom. Stated she resented childhood chores! This has never been stated till now.
To date it has been 6weeks & 2 days with absolutely No contact.....Our daughter stated to our son that our grandson is now "afraid of Grandpa, that he thinks Grandpa is trying to use him to talk to Mom & Dad"
We are so worried, confused and beside ourselves. Where did this come from? What is going to happen to our daughter & grandkids? Our sil has been living with these problems for years. Why isn't he obtaining professional help? Is is better to have this put on us or anyone else instead of him?
NO one knows of this tragedy but our son. We have read, searched on-line, we need help.
What can you say to family & friends? It is very difficult to continue false statements.
We are coping with broken hearts & many worries. Your advice will be greatly appreciated....
