5 yo Keeps Coming Out of Room


We use the ticket system with my almost-5-year old. He has two rules: Do what you are told, and No yelling/tantruming outside his room. He has recently begun to hit me when he loses a ticket, so this week we added a rule that says hitting results in a loss of all tickets, and when he hits he has to spend the whole day in his room. We had a meeting about this, and provided him with some ideas for what he can do instead when he's angry enough to hit (i.e. run around the house, punch a pillow, etc). For 4 days in a row, he has lost all of his tickets for hitting! Each time, I have told him that he has lost all his tickets and will have to spend the remaining day in his room, minus dinner with us. The first two times went okay, but yesterday and today, he has responded by repeatedly coming out of his room. I place him back in his room over and over, remaining calm and in control (takes most of the energy I have to do this!!) and remind him that he broke the hitting rule and now may not come out of his room. He says over and over that he "wants love." At first, I agreed that he probably needed help calming down and I did hold him for several minutes, but the request for "love" just goes on and on. Do you have any solutions for getting rid of this "battle", and any advice for how much attention and love I should provide in these situations?

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