10 year old Kicked Out of the Garden


Our ten year old son has been repeating certain behaviors-- not doing homework, disrespect to his parents and siblings, not doing what we say (ie, clean room, put laundry away, make bed). He half heartedly does his chores (helping get dinner on the table, clearing, wiping table after dinner, cleaning bathroom...). He dawdles, picks on his siblings, gets distracted by other things when everyone else is working. We have disciplined by taking away birthday party, sending to bed early for a week or 2 weeks, taking away privileges for a week, sending to bed early... These past 2 weeks he has gotten into trouble 3 times at school-- called a girl a B---, said F--- in the classroom very loudly when horsing around with another student, and gave a student an "Indian burn". The school asked for written apologies. With the f word his dad went to school with him to make sure he made a verbal apology to the class and the teacher. The teacher did not allow the verbal apology to take place as "against school policy". He was sent to the principal for the last incident and will have "silent lunch" for a week (sit alone). In response to all this we have confined him to his room for 2 weeks and can come out for meals, piano, chores, and to help the family. For every day he doesn't do his responsibilities or what we ask him, or gets in trouble in trouble at school, we add another day to the confinement. Today (day 2) he is in his room, not cleaning up his toys, not doing his chores, shouting out of his room trying to get attention (negative attention). Is there a better approach? I can't see him being confined for weeks on end?

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