How to properly help a homeschooled perfectionist?
We homeschool our three daughters and our eight year old daughter is dealing with excessive perfectionism that is disrupting our whole family. Every single activity (going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, getting out of bed and getting dressed, doing school work, and etc.) takes so much longer to get done that it disrupts our family schedule and peace within our home.
She takes so long in the bathroom when we are ready to head outside for break we can't leave. Many activities we had planned to do as a family we aren't able to do, because of how long it takes her to do stuff and we are getting to the point where we are all frustrated with her. Part of the problem is probably that we give her warnings. Not knowing how to deal with helping her to realize that there is only so much time during the day, that she doesn't have to be perfect. She is lazy and not motivated by anything and would be happy staying in bed all day.
If she gets up late for church or taking to much time getting ready for something we can't leave her at the house by herself. Do I let her skip her school work because she is in the bathroom for 40 minutes? We take away fun activities and have her do her school work. She is fine with that but still doesn't finish it because of the time it takes her. Do we make her miss brushing her teeth because it took 30 minutes to get her pajamas on? She has missed meals, brushing her teeth and more and it doesn't seem to bother her. If we try to regulate her, her attitude becomes worse. If we leave her alone she is happy but doesn't get anything done. Nothing seems to help and just not knowing what to do.
How can we help our child and have peace in our home?