Question
We have an 11yo son who still poops his pants. He has other behavior issues for yelling and screaming in the classroom. We thought he was potty trained for urine & BM but looking back I don't think so. Potty training was hair raising. He refused to sit to poop. We have horrible arguments over cleaning his pants. We thought having him clean his pants would "cure" it. He has no problem sitting in his poop and getting sores (age 8-9). He only will change his pants if we tell him. It's as if he can't smell it.
He screams when confronted and in complete denial. We tell him to go to the bathroom and sit and get it all out. He's always in a hurry & never wants to sit. He has some ADHD and has been diagnosed thru Kaiser (CA) as having extreme explosive disorder. He's on 100mg zoloft daily and 20mg Abilify.
He's very, very smart. The school he's been going to for his behavior will begin mainstreaming him in the fall. They say he knows all that they've taught him. He mentors other kids in his school for behavior and calming.
BUT the last stronghold he has is pooping in his pants. Very stressful as parents and siblings. His screaming when confronted or when he's told to stop what he's doing to take a body break is deafening and sends mom to the moon. Often he will immediately say--what did I do? As if he's completely unaware of the problem. At 11 he doesn't scream as much when we ask him to clean his pants--but still a battle of wills.
Ugh... we've tried everything and maybe not consistent enough. The screaming in defense of himself is horrid too. I recognize the enemy has a stronghold here and is gripping our family. We need help, but don't have an idea where to turn.
I do not believe this is encopresis. When we go on vacation he will hold his poop. There is no pooping in the pants on vacation or at his nana's house--only our house. I can understand if he is hyper focused and holds his poop until he can't hold it anymore. He used to wet his pants holding it too long not wanting to put down his video game. We no longer allow a Wii or xbox for long--the problem wetting his pants will start all over. We do allow computer games--but the pooping continues.
He has gotten better in the last 4 months. Within the last two weeks he pointed out he went 2 days without pooping in his pants. So I know he's cognitive of this behavior. When I started to praise his awesome behavior--he started pooping again.
VERY FRUSTRATING!
I heard Mr. Rosemond on Family Talk and so much of what he said resonated in my heart. I see where we have errored as parents. I especially like when he said... if you watch the pot it will boil. So many times we stood and watched our son clean out his pants--the pot boiled. But how do we back up, start over and make progress?
thank you soooooooo much...
