4 year old disrespects Mom, Part 2

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I apologize, I forgot part of what I wanted to ask in my previous question regarding 4yr old arguing. I read a response in one of the posted questions which said that you don't need to actually punish (take a ticket, strike) when your child just "says" he won't' do something....only when he actually refuses to do it. Example: in the back of the car... I'm not going to eat my chicken until I get my frosty...I say then you won't get your frosty.....he continues to argue and starts kicking the back of the seat......I say quit kicking the back of the seat....I'm not going to quit kicking until xyz. It can be about anything and he will go on for a while with a lengthy explanation even if I don't respond. He will finish and say...got it? I feel like all of that kind of back talk is disrespectful. It infuriates me and I want it nipped at an early age. Am I suppose to ignore what he is saying if he is not actually doing it?
Thank you so much.
Sharon

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