4 year old disrespects Mom

Question

I assume this is along the same lines as my last question about my 4 year olds rudeness to another adult....
His talking back to me is getting increasingly bad. He tells me he's not going to do what I told him to do u less I do X. Tells me I am in a timeout. He's become very opinionated and argumentative. He has hit me a few times when he doesn't get his way. It's not hard at all, it's more like he's just trying to do the motion but is afraid. I have been counting and giving timeouts. Should I move to the ticket system and how many to start with. I also always question if I am too hard and if some of this is part of his age. I don't tolerate any of it at all. I am also guilty of loosing my cool so I really want to find a way to be prepared ahead of time so I know how I am going to handle it and be consistent.
Thank you

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