8 yo Defiance

Question

What to do with a 8 year old child who makes daily demands upon arrival in car from school (I'm hungry, I'm thirsty & on & on), in addition to is resistant to most requests that his parents ask of him, also after telling him he must leave the tennis club after drill to go with sitter to study and do homework (Mom had to take daughter to Christmas party) the child decided to he didn't want to go so he hid along with his friends so he didn't have to leave. He is smart in school and makes A's with much micro management from Mom. He wouldn't do his homework otherwise. He doesn't seem overly mean but seems to be only an expert communicating frustration, impatience and interested in things only on his terms. We call him the "opposite boy". When he was little we had to say the opposite of what we wanted him to get him to do what we wanted him to do. He has trouble communicating his feelings positive or negative. He has been known to shut down in class if when trying to write a paragraph. The teacher has to send him to office for him to finish it correctly otherwise he refuses to do it. He never says I love you and shows anyone affection except his Dad. I worried...

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