Question
What is the best way to communicate "visiting the home" rules to a young adult who fought every rule when he lived here? Dad feels that it should just be a direct "Here are the rules for adults in our house. Follow them or don't sleep here when you visit." Mom feels a more positive "We want you to come stay when you visit, but things have to be different...."
This son has been gone for 13 weeks at Marine Basic Training. At the end of the training, before his next school, they give him 10 days to come visit (we'd bring him after we celebrate the graduation of the young Marine).
My son's plan for those 10 days, which he announced prior to departure (an announcement we chose to ignore) was to return home and spend those 10 days partying, etc. as at that point he'd be an adult and able to make his own decisions about his conduct..
After we celebrate the boot camp graduation, but BEFORE he comes home, we plan tell him that if he wants to come home, it is to visit FAMILY. Dad will take a week's vacation to do father-son activities, etc. But no running with the old bad-attitude friends, "partying," trying to use the family wifi for porn, etc. if he intends to sleep in our house. So the question is primarily communication style unless your team has better ideas on message too.
