14 year old Withdrawing


Hi, I have a 14 year old daughter (15 in December) who last year was a cheerleader at middle school, hung out with the more popular kids and early this school year we put her in intensive out patient therapy at the advice of a psychiatrist who saw her. She was struggling with depression, anxiety & suicidal thoughts. She started sometime last year listening to bands such as fall out boy, panic at the disco & my chemical romance. So we put her on Zoloft & she did really well with the therapy, they praised her at how well she did etc... So this year she has alienated herself further by getting more & more into these bands, dressing like their followers seem to dress ( we really don't find it too troubling except when she wants to do it every day & will no longer wear her more classic expensive clothes that we bought- now trying to sell on secondhand sites). Her one & main friend that she will hang out with is a girl who has been her best friend since elementary school ( she did draw away from her a little in middle school but never completely), this friend is also into the bands the " emo" look etc. so my daughter & I recently had a conversation about sexuality & she seemed very knowledgeable about bisexuality, " genderqueer" etc & she was very adamant about being unjudgemental About it all, my only words were being cautious because of being stereotyped before she really knows who she is & what path she will choose. She had a boy ask her to homecoming & she went ( w/ her best friend & her date) & she had had several boys interested in her. Then after asking what had happened with the last boy she said oh we just don't see each other that much & I've decided I'm not dating until college.

I guess my questions are twofold; how do you think I should react, say nothing & let her figure out who she is

Say more in that I support whoever she decides to be and date

She has been at the girlfriends house both nights this weekend & I'm starting to wonder if maybe they have decided to be together, I'm afraid if I casually ask she will burst out laughing! Please give me advice, suggestions on how you would proceed. I worry that she's pulling farther away from us because she doesn't feel comfortable here, and she does tend to go up to her room, more than the typical teenager does.... Hopefully I have filled you in enough on what's going on here!

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