Stepsons and Chaos


I have two stepsons ages 8 and 5, who have behavioral problems. When they visit our home it is total chaos. They say they don't want to be at our house and just want to go back to their moms. Sometimes they won't eat the food we make. The youngest, who has autism, is very aggressive with my husband, myself and our other three boys. He will hit, kick, bite and say rude things to us. The older one just seems withdrawn at times. Their mom has said bad things about their dad to them and doesn't seem to do much about their behaviors, except make excuses. They have both been removed from daycares and gotten into trouble at school but she still hasn't gotten them any real help. But then expects us to help take care of them when no one else will. I want them to visit us but it is really affecting our family. My boys are scared of them and learning bad behaviors. I feel like we have no say in matters(their mom has full custody and makes all decisions) but are expected to just put up with this in our home. We discipline them at our house but it doesn't seem to do a whole lot. Can you offer any advice? Thanks!

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