"A child who can't take "no" for an answer always has parents who can't say it and mean it. "

Asking Too Much

Question

John (please-this is about MUSIC). 15 year old boy. Good: great grades, liked by teachers, talented musically. Bad news: school band says band is their life and "money should not be an issue", so he's demanding of our money and time. We take him to extra practices and competitions, pay for many band extras, and are saving for next year's "big" band trip. So we say "NO" to pricey phones, eating out a lot, etc. But he Continually asks for these other things along with music costs. He says "it's too bad we are poor", "YOU'RE lucky, other parents can't get their kids to try out for special music", "Aren't YOU going to support my music (i.e. if we say choose one) like my friend's mom does?".Or, he tells us "We need to get a $125 calculator tonight (he's in higher math, but demands/ doesn't ask).

My pastor said I should support his music because these years go by fast. OK . . . now feeling guilty. I know you love music, John, but I think the pastor is somewhat wrong to say "support more". The more we do, the more he asks for--never enough. My boy used to be grateful, but now says mean things to me and is relentless to get 100% of what he wants (musically and otherwise) no matter what it costs in our time or money.

Help. Pastor says support even more...I'm thinking, pull back some.

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