Pre-teen : Lying kids and Ex-wife

Question

We have been married for five years, and he has 2 kids, 12 and 13, that live with their mom. We have tried our best, but things have gotten really bad this year. Basically, my stepkids live in a home where they can do whatever they want and can't at our house, and their family does't want their dad being in the kids lives and so lies were told. We've had to deal with an EPO and child abuse charges-all were thrown out. We settled things in court and have had the kids 3 times since. Then,'mom' emails that my stepson said that his dad was mocking him when he was with us. We stopped picking them up and feel we should let them go for now-is this too harsh? We feel we should come first.

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