Question
My 14 year old son just recently started his freshman year at a private Jesuit all boys High School where approximately 60% of applicants are accepted. He appears to love it and all his teachers. He has also joined the Rowing Team which is 6 days a week - everyday after school until 6 and Saturday mornings 9-12. He is up everyday at 5:45 am to catch the bus at 6:45 am and gets home most days at almost 7 pm.
My question is this. When do I intervene in completing course work or extracurricular involvement?
The school promotes responsibility to fall on the young men in all things- grades, participation, communication with teachers, coaches etc. This is not a problem with me and I strongly support it BUT....they give parents access to their grades at all times. My son had missed 2 days of school due to illness and fell behind in his coursework, so because of missing grades his averages in some classes are in the mid 50's. This occurred almost two weeks ago and he still has yet to complete all the makeup work even though the information is available to him online 24/7.
He is aware of this and became very defensive when we tried to talk to him about it. He started crying (unusual for him) claiming he felt pressured and upset about losing the opportunity to tryout for hockey (he had knee surgery after a freak accident in goal in House hockey last year and it has not completely healed to 100%- he does not play travel by our choice). But even though he feels pressured, he avoids his work. He wants "down time" and rushes though assignments he has to do in order to other recreational things.
He is not a bad student. His averages are typically in the mid to low 80's. Not ideal, but he has so many other attributes that are lacking in so many young men today that I feel overall he is ahead of the game. When he is passionate about something he gives it 110%, he has strong work ethic when it is something he loves (usually outdoors mowing others lawns, washing cars, helping neighbors with various things) he has exceptional social skills with adults and peers and is well liked, and he has empathy.
How much do I get on him about his grades and getting it done...or do I let him be responsible and face the consequences such as academic probation and being removed form a team for poor grades?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated?
