Question
I need advice and guidance. I have been raising 3 stepchildren for 8 years. They are now 17 almost 19 and the youngest will be turning 12 on wednesday. The oldest is a girl and the two younger ones are boys. When i became their "mom" the 2 oldest were completely addicted to video games (and still are) and had no other interests. I was determined to see to it that the youngest would not follow that destructive path. I raised him with rules, tons of love, consequences when needed and to have a variety of interests. He was allowed limited time on video games and seemed fine. This summer he spent alot of time in the basement where he has many legos and a tv. I noticed changes in his personality, so I started to do some investigating. It seems that for the past 8 months he has been playing MATURE video games anytime he could and well into the night while we thought he was sleeping or reading. What is most disturbing is that the 2 oldest knew about it and did not come to tell me. They always encouraged him to go the video game route even though they knew I was opposed to it. I have taken away the xbox from the 12 year old and have all but kicked him out of the garden of eden. No tv, no legos, only homework and chores. This is because he lied for 8 months, everytime I asked him what he was doing. His birthday is in 3 days and I bought him everything on his list and was planning a big celebration, balloons, cake, pictures of past birthdays, however, because of this I am contemplating giving him one small gift and no balloons and special treatment. I feel it is fair for 8 months of lying to my face and disrespecting my rules. I believe he is a pathalogical liar and he has been for years. Time to stop now. Am i being too harsh? He doesn't seem remorseful and I thought we had the best relationship. I don't think I could love a child more if he was my own. However, I need to stop this behavior NOW. I also can't believe that the 2 older siblings knew about this and they all 3 lied to me. I'm heartbroken that this has happened when I've given my all to raise these kids. Any thoughts would be apreciated. I am at wits end.
